Docutizers Saga: Late Notes

Selected Excuses for Tardiness and Workplace Absence Throughout the Realm

The following documents were recovered from the lower filing vaults beneath Questline Headquarters after an unfortunate shelving collapse in the Docutizers Archive. Several forms were partially burned, magically stained, or found folded into paper cranes by unknown parties.

Questline administration reminds all employees that:

lateness due to “destiny”
unauthorized monster encounters
“prophetic feelings”
or “a genuinely tremendous business opportunity”

are not currently recognized excuses under Guild Statute 14-C.

Despite repeated requests, this warning has not significantly reduced submissions.

DONIVAR

To whoever reads these,

I got delayed this morning because of:

two chickens

a cart wheel coming loose

the spoon-knife prototype

and a troll getting upset for reasons I still think were mostly misunderstandings

I would also like it noted that the fountain incident was an accident and that the fish panic probably helped local business overall because people stayed in the market longer afterward.

Also I still think the spoon-knife would work if people would quit moving while eating soup.

I am again asking whether the city plans to reimburse me for damages suffered while trying to improve breakfast efficiency for the public.

—Donivar

Docutizer Note:
The spoon-knife prototype has now been banned in three districts.

ROLAND

Esteemed Administrative Office,

I apologize for my delay this morning. My brother attempted to launch a revised poultry delivery initiative from the boarding house roof at approximately dawn.

This required immediate intervention.

Attached you will find:

a timeline of events

a structural damage assessment

two witness statements

and a revised recommendation regarding rooftop livestock regulations

I would also respectfully suggest the Academy revise Clause 8-B regarding “reasonable familial emergencies,” as the current wording leaves several troubling ambiguities.

Sincerely,
Roland

Attached Addendum:
“No, seriously, the roof may collapse next time.”

SAL

Running late.

Kitchen fire.

Gleck fixed most of it.

Donivar somehow involved.

—Sal

Management Response:
Accepted immediately without further questions.

GLECK

Filling out this form because the nattering masses say that the fabric of the corporate universe will unravel if I do not document that I was 3 minutes late.

—Gleck

Docutizer Annotation:
Sewing needle and fabric sent to accompany note.

ORC SUBMISSION

I was late because Krulzk challenged me to combat beside the eastern road after insulting Wolf’s Blood’s second album.

Matters escalated.

Honor required resolution.

Also his criticism regarding the drum solos was deeply uninformed.

—Rathbor

Disposition:
ACCEPTED UNDER CULTURAL EXEMPTION 7-A

Additional Note:
Wolf’s Blood tickets attached to form as apology.

TROLL SUBMISSION

I was not absent.

I was beneath bridge.

You simply failed to notice me because I was working on pottery.

The vase required emotional honesty.

—Hurmog

Attached Sketch:
A surprisingly delicate floral centerpiece.

Administrative Note:
The pottery was later displayed in the lobby for three weeks.

YETI TRADE CONSORTIUM

To whom it may concern,

Representatives of the Frostpeak Delegation will arrive no earlier than three days from now due to dissatisfaction regarding:

tea temperature

seating fabric quality

conversational pacing

improper glove etiquette

and the emotional tone used in the previous correspondence

Additionally, Representative Thul believes the phrase “timely delivery” created an atmosphere of coercion.

Negotiations will resume after a formal apology package has been assembled.

Respectfully,
Assistant Under-Representative Velk

Office Margin Note:
Entire department seen crying after receipt of document.

GOBLIN FACTORY NOTICE

Late because work started early.

Already working.

Forgot to arrive first.

—Goblin Unit 47

Supervisor Response:
Promoted for initiative.

GNOME SUBMISSION

Esteemed Bureau Officials,

I regret to inform you that repairs to the western aqueduct were delayed after our team successfully solved the pressure imbalance by rerouting water through:

the bakery district

a decorative fountain

and briefly through Councilman Veersley’s summer residence

While this technically created three additional problems, it also resolved two existing ones and revealed a previously undetected sewer weakness.

We therefore consider the operation a success.

—Head engineer, Pwip colony

Final Administrative Ruling:
No one is entirely certain whether this violated regulations.

MADAM IGNATIA

Delayed due to another entirely predictable institutional disaster that I explicitly warned this Academy about three months ago.

As usual, no one listened.

I trust this note will be filed with the same enthusiasm as my previous warnings.

—Madam Ignatia

Docutizer Cross-Reference:
She had, in fact, warned them.

SIR BAGSTEED

Cadets weak.

Extended drills.

Several cried.

Improvement noticeable.

—Bagsteed

Official Response:
Approved reluctantly.

Want to see this personalities in action? Check out the story over on Royal Road. I’m releasing three chapters a week.